So I guess he just svd us the trbl of lstnng “tmrw.”
Do you think Jian tweets because he is lonely?
Published May 31, 2010 9:32 pm
The Tea Makers
They offered me the office, offered me the shop. They said I'd better take anything they'd got. Do you wanna make tea at the CBC? Do you wanna be, do you really wanna be a cop?
670 Comments
Poonie, can you find Jian for us? He’s currently hiding somewhere in The Peanut Factory. Make sure to check his closet and under the bed.
he’s easy to spot …
and remember to send him out of the room with all the other peanuts when George talks about “adult” stuff
Don’t you have to ask Lights’ permission, Poongirl? Since Cutthroat holds her career in the palm of her hand…
If I told Jian I wanted him right now, do you think he’d drop Cutthroat for me ?
Dig that psycho-bunny T-Shirt, Kelly. You’ve picked a real winner, Jian. Can’t wait for her to meet your folks at your B-day party.
Kelly’s going to the MTV Movie Awards tonight! Jian loves award shows, will he be watching and tweeting as usual? Or has Kelly scared him off Twitter for the rest of the weekend?
Here’s Kel’s latest tweet :
” http://tweetphoto.com/25985500 MTV Time here we come! w/@Robynb77 tix in hand – this was my dream when I was 17 (cont) http://tl.gd/1nd7i2
9 minutes ago via UberTwitter ”
It doesn’t seem that Jian is ready for the shit-storm that often accompanies being a celebrity (or dating one).
Kelly Quote: “Never to lie to me! Not to my face and behind my back. ” Jian, you have been warned.
I didn’t realize that there were so many emo kids in prison! They must make up a huge (if not the total) percent of the “prison bitch” population.
Poonie, can you ask Kelly why Jian always logs out of Twitter and disappears for day/s after she tweets him?
what a coward
Another boring Q&A in the New York Times, except it has a snap of an unrecognizable Cutrone with Mallory from Family Ties:
http://tmagazine.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/10/asked-answered-kelly-cutrone/
Apparently, Out Is Through promises to keep a close eye on this story as it develops.
Wow, those guys are on top of the story!
http://out-is-through.blogspot.com/2010/06/kelly-cutrone-comes-to-toronto-for-jian.html
Looks like they’re going to uh… keep reading twitter? And blog about them?
Is Jian teasing women? Promising sexual delights but not delivering? tsk…tsk…
Still no Jian tweets since Kelly tweeted him yesterday. Here’s Jian’s musical protege/client/concubine LIGHTS with a not very believable story :
That has to be the most unbelievable prison story on Twitter.
Boys go to juvenile hall, not prison. Men go to prison. You’ve been played, Lights.
Ummm….how do men/boys reach her high notes & get that “little girl voice” quality?
LOL @ Jian not logging in to Twitter for a while every time Cutthroat tweets him ! That way, he can pretend he did not read it.
I think I’m goning to Tweet Cutthroat and give her some advice. If you want to win Jian over, how better to do so then with materialistic goods ? For his birthday Kelly should get him a manscarf. Then everytime he drapes that soft cashmere manscarf around his throat he will think of her.
I think that Jian is afraid of Kelly. Every time she tweets him, he logs off Twitter and doesn’t come back for a long time (for him). Case in point : It’s been 24 hours since his last tweet.
Why should Jian be afraid of Kelly? They are exactly alike! She is the complete mirror of him and a perfect match.
Uh oh…dealbreaker. Jian does not ride a bike in an urban setting.
That picture of Kelly on the bike is freakin’ hilarious! And notice how the other women that she’s riding with are all way younger than her? With Jian, it’s the same way. He’s always hanging around people that are younger than him. Which is a dumb thing to do for someone as obsessed with youth and image as he is, because it just makes him look that much older.
Lights does it too! She acts like a 12-year-old girl instead of a 23 year old woman. And she tweets all the school kids…eep!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yf5soimGEpE
Jian keeps claiming he’s a passionate guy. Well, you’ve met your match, Jian. Sometimes “passion” is exhausting (or just another word for people who like to argue alot & create drama wherever they go).
Kelly is in the New York Times today, talking about her Sunday routine:
I go to Angelo’™s, of course. I’™ve been going there since 1987. The maître d’™ is always rude to me, and I love him for it. He just finally stopped screaming at me because I think his granddaughter watches this show I’™m on. The angel hair pasta with garlic and tomato is amazing. You get a couple good wiseguy sightings while we’™re there. Then we go around the corner to Ferrara’™s. You’™ve got to do your part. You’™ve got to be the crazy New Yorker who goes there. How about the Feast? That makes ’œJersey Shore’ look tame.
Toronto is gonna be an adjustment…
Jian is flying too close to the sun ….wait for the fall to earth.
This is a test for Jian: if he gives it up for Kelly, she can help him & Lights up to the next level & they could become a real power couple. How much is Jian willing to sacrifice for his career?
Kel’s plans for “T-Town” visit : hoit renfrew (sic) then Jian’s Bday (followed by night of passionate lovemaking at The Peanut Factory?)
Maybe Kelly & Lights should join forces & leave Jian behind.
Love is blind and that’s why Kelly isn’t seeing that Jian is using her to get more publicity for himself and LIGHTS. But when she does, Wonderboy and Captain LIGHTS are going down!
Lights is gonna get a wake up call as to what her man Jian is really like…
Kelly’s book should have been called : “If you have to cry, do it on Twitter”.
Jian may get hoisted on his petard with this flirtation & jeopardize Lights career in the process….karma!
Kelly hasn’t had a man flirt with her since the Clinton administration, that’s why she’s all over Jian like brown on (brown) rice.
Jian is playing a dangerous game; Kelly is “Fatal Attraction” material. At the very least, she’ll tear him and LIGHTS a new one in the press/on her show/in her next book if he doesn’t give her what she wants. She already seems to be getting agitated by him never publicly responding to any of her tweets on Twitter.
If this goes bad, she’s gonna make Billy Bob Thornton look like a choirboy.
Isn’t it kind of funny that Jian is exposing Kelly to be the lonely, desperate, manipulative woman that she really is?
How embarrassing for Kelly to be grovelling for a date to his party. Sad.
Why would Kelly take it seriously? Hell, Jian even flirted with Atom Egoyan during their interview….
Is this whole situation silencing Captain Lights? She hasn’t tweeted in more than 13 HOURS!!!! Is Kelly her kryptonite?
The narcisist in Jian probably loves that any woman is flying to be with him just for his Birthday. I think Jian usually starts flirtations with much younger women who probably don’t give much thought he is trying to get with them. But, with older Cutthroat, she probably takes it a lot more seriously.
If she is flying all the way down here, she probably is thinking longterm, commitment, marriage, kids …
P.S. I’m so happy I coined the name Cutthroat for Kelly, suits her to a T.
I get the feeling Jian is in over his head, that Kelly is taking his flirting seriously & travelling all the way to Toronto for his B-Day. Good times.
Hold on. Is it just a coincidence that she is back in Toronto for Jian’s birthday or it is confirmed the only reason she is in Toronto is for Jian’s birthday ?
Why is someone as “fah-bu-lous” as Kelly stranded in Toronto? Why isn’t she Jian’s date?
Jian is usually the oldest person at his birthday party….or at any party. This year will be different with Kelly there. She’s 2 years older than the age that Jian claims to be, according to her drivers license….which also says that she’s 5’8” and only 130 lbs…..so take it with a grain of salt.
My money would be on Kelly….she’s a heavyweight; Lights is a featherweight.
I would pay to watch Kelly & Captain Lights fight over Jian. Catfight!
Eeeep! I can’t think of a worse way to spend a birthday than with Jeanne Beker & Kelly Cutthroat skreeching at each other over martinis about what designers they are wearing. Although it would be funny to watch Jian trying to avoid Kelly’s clutches to flirt with all the girls.
Why would challenges in marriage or fidelity be of interest to Jian?
Krazy Kelly has been tweeting up a storm about her upcoming trip to The Center of The Universe (Jian).
Kelly’s travel schedule :
Asking the “iconic” Jeanne Beker to be her date to Jian’s Bday party in “T-town” (huh?) :
Sounding nutty asking Jian “What would I do?” in reference to…….? :
Jian’s latest tweet……maybe it’s what set Kelly off? (“WWID – WTF – WWID”) :
If Moxy Fruvous were a young Canadian band today, they wouldn’t be invited to be on Q. How ironic.
They also wouldn’t get a record contract, have their videos played on MuchMusic or have any success beyond busking and Jian would have stayed in obscurity – where he belongs. But that’s all beside the point.
Jian has taken a lot and given nothing back. He has a career now because of all of the help that he recieved back in the day when there was a lot more support for Canadian music acts and he is not returning the favour for the present day Canadian artist.
There’s a fuck of a lot of other places for little Canadian bands to show up on CBC Radio, including that entire Radio 3 thing, and mire and more on R2, and many other placesvon R1. You really want another 1.5 hrs a day of the same lame Gentleman Reg or some shit?
…and more: is the message that the bar should not be as high for Canadian artists? Is that how you create a successful show? Is cosmopolitanism antiCanadian?
Laurie Anderson returns to Q & joins me live from Australia this morn to discuss the concert she’s doing that only dogs will hear. (really)
Score for artists on “Q” this week: Americans=2, Canadians=0
…..and Adam Lambert twice in Dec & Jan…..Q has an open door policy for American celebs….
http://www.adamofficial.com/us/node/1175263
“Canadian fans take note :
“Q” program radio host, Jian Ghomeshi ( probably Canada’s largest audience morning radio show … is on at 10 am , then repeats at 10pm ) has been plugging daily that our Adam will appear LIVE, IN STUDIO this January 2010 in the Toronto CBC-1 radio studios –
Jian had Adam on for a 20 minute segment in December 2009 and invited him back – it’s nice to see Adam took him up on that -“
Jian tweeted: At the always-charming Griffin Poetry Prize dinner. And the – just this moment announced – winner is…Saskatchewan’s Karen Solie!
But Karen Solie hasn’t been on “Q” because she’s not a celebrity….until now. She’s probably worthy of being on “Q” after winning this award. There’s room for Carol Burnett on “Q” (twice) but no room Canada’s poets.
Don’t ever let Jian tell you that he doesn’t read The Tea Makers. Watch as Jian changes his tune on what his opening babble should be called after being corrected by a Tea Maker :
Tea Maker comes to the rescue in The Truth Farm :
Jian (ahem) corrects himself :
RT @Lynn_Coady @jianghomeshi my fave quote from the Abramovic interview: Jian: How do you pee? Marina: I do not pee. (40 minutes ago by @jianghomeshi)
Figures…Jian interviews an artist and he is fascinated by their pee…stay classy, Jian.
You would think with all that working out, he would want to show off all his muscles.
Jian’s idol, Zac Efron, has been rocking a ‘man scarf’ for years now. Coincidence?
As you can tell by the ladies ensembles, a scarf was really needed that day.
It appear (above) like he’s tired of looking for love in all the wrong places.
Make your parents proud, Jian!
nice – check out where the blond on the right has her bottle; CLASSY! (what, no brown women around, jian?)
What would Rachel MacAdams think? It would be interesting for Rachel & Jian to date, if only to find out what the dealbreaker would be. His flirtations? Or her inability to laugh at his jokes?
We all this Prince of Persia is not looking for a princess from Persia-land.
Is that Jian’s uniform? Jeans, crappy t-shirt, expensive ugly suit jacket. Doesn’t he hang with fashion people & get discounts at Harry Rosen? Is he business or casual, I can’t tell.
The blond has her hands in her pockets & is giving an icy stare. Body Language, anyone?
Hmmm… once again, Jian is not hanging out with brown women.
Jian’s man scarf makes an appearance, yet again.
It’s more so’s you’ll know he’s Iranian, as in ee-raah-knee-an
And also, real artists are always more ostentatious in their dress.
Nice name – Analnymous.
Jian’s interviewing style is analogous to analingus.
At inspiring fundraiser for @TheStopCFC “Backyard Garden Project” in celebration of local food & growing your own. Support: http://www.TheStop.org (6 minutes ago by @jianghomeshi)
What utter crap! Jian LIVES in an airplane, never takes transit, never rides a bike, eats imported pistachios, but suddenly he’s oh so concerned with the environment! Walk that talk, wonderboy.
If the tongue fits……
Are you guys implying that Kelly Cutthroat enjoys giving analingous ?
He likes to have his ass “funded”…..especially by “the taxpayers”……so he and Kelly probably do that as roleplay with her dressing up as a hardworking Canadian that says “eh” a lot while shoving wads of loonies & toonies up Jian’s British-Persian ass….
That’s ’cause in L.A. (where he hopes to end up someday), all the people have got to be PRETTY! (as least on the outside…just ask Heidi Montag…hopefully a future Q guest!)
Either that or he’s worried aboot someone kicking his ass! Maybe Kelly?
Doesn’t he like to have his ass kicked? and licked? and rimmed? and stroked? and plugged? That’s why he likes kelly so much. A friend in the end.
Well, I know he has been hitting the gym as he told me. Not sure about the dentist or rhinoplasty. Maybe he is in the begining stages of a make over ?
Too bad his teeth haven’t been hitting a Dentist! And his nose should bitch-slapped a Plastic Surgeon a long time ago!
Oh NO! Pride Toronto banned the phrase ’œIsraeli Apartheid’! That was gonna be the slogan on my giant rainbow penis float at the Gay Pride Parade this year!!!!
Careful ladies, Jian has been hitting the gym pretty hard.
Is the Pride Toronto ban on phrase “Israeli Apartheid” the right call or political sell out? A Q debate tmrw w/ Tim McCaskell vs Marcus Gee. (58 minutes ago by @jianghomeshi)
Jian is also very “Ontario/Toronto” focused (when he’s not talking about London/NewYork/LA of course). Someone needs to give him a map of Canada & remind him there’s a whole lot more going on! Oh yeah, & they’re all paying his bills….
Jian only cares about Canadian art and artists when he’s benefiting from it. Give him money to host and he’ll care. Put him on the Board of Directors of a music fund so that he can hand money out to his client and friends and he’ll care.
When lesser known Canadian artists are on Q it’s likely just tokenism to fulfill the CBC’s mandate. The treatment they get after the fact is very telling : Q rarely puts interviews with Canadian artists on their QTV YouTube page or on the BoldTV show and when they do it’s more often someone who is internationally famous or someone that has a connection to Jian like Q producer Kathryn Borel.
I’m surprised that Jian doesn’t get booed when he hosts awards shows, considering how little support his show gives to Canadian artists.
Maybe Jian can do one of his opening monologues on the cultural importance of reality tv stars like Kelly, Whitney, Roxy, Snookie and last but not least, “the Situation”. Do they represent the dawn of a new kind of icon? The “iconic imbecile”? Is Jian at the forefront of a cultural movement or is he just a cheap fame whore lover?
Anyone attending the Ottawa Blues Fest would be wise to head to the Port-O-Potties BEFORE the start of LIGHTS 30 minute set. Your bladder & bowels will thank you. LIGHTS set will be when the lines at the Port-O-Potties are the longest. Trust me.
Expect to hear less and less Canadian based everything on Q now that it’s syndicated in the US….not that it was any different before syndication. Jian and the Q production staff have had their tongues up the collective asses of AMERICAN Arts * Culture * Entertainment * since the show’s inception.
Yup, and it will reach the nadir when the cast of “The City” is on “Q”.
LIGHTS! is playing the Ottawa Blues Fest. Are they hoping that she’ll cheer everyone up?
Confirmed: Marina Abramovic joins me live tmrw on Q – fresh from big-buzz “The Artist Is Present” sitdown @ MoMA. http://tinyurl.com/2f9v3ko (37 minutes ago by @jianghomeshi)
Apparently, only New York artists are worthy of being interviewed on “Q”. Canadian-based artists need not apply.
My predictions:
1) Most of the interview will be a fawning gee-whiz explanation of what she actually does at these shows.
2) The anti-Abramovic contingent in the NYC art world will be ignored.
Jian & LIGHTS are swimming with sharks. Will they get devoured?
They are shallow, bland birds of a machiavellian feather, flocking together. Meh.
’˜female sexual dysfunction’™ could also mean “I’ve been having sex with the same guy since I was 14 and he’s a ugly old creep! But he’s also my manager and I wouldn’t have a career in music and I’d never get another dime of music fund money if I ever left him/stopped having sex with him, so instead I just do a lot of drugs and practice self mutilation in the form of ugly tattoos and try to save money for all the years of therapy that I’m going to need when he dumps me as a client after he finds a new teen female singer, like he did to Martina after he found me.”
Don’t forget that Jian is doing the same thing : remember the photo of him with Kell’s two bimbtard proteges from “The Hills” and “The City” that he retweeted so that all of his “fans” would see it? It was Jian’s proudest Twitter moment.
(Kelly Cuntrone, who took the picture of Jian with the two ‘reality’ tv bimbos)
nicely done. RT @sarahapple ‘female sexual dysfunction’ just means ‘I’m stuck in rural Canada with a bunch of guys I’ve known since 1979.’ (about an hour ago by @jianghomeshi)
….and the ratings for “Q” in rural Canada suddenly plummet. Best not to comment, Jian.
It’s a measure of LIGHTS’ lack of musical success that she has to cling to Kelly & “The City” for support. Sell out?
Is Kelly just the older version of LIGHTS or the older, richer, more famous, successful, talented, more liked by teens, less drug addicted and (most of all) FATTER version?
A menage-a-trois? It’s ON! (Kelly is the older version of LIGHTS …hope she brings her Viagra).
Kelly Cuntrone’s “big Canada surprise” that she alluded to last month is that LIGHTS (and probably Jian too) will be appearing on Kelly’s MTV ‘reality’ show “The City”. Whoop dee doo! The 152 Canadians that bought LIGHTS cd will be ecstatic!
Kelly also has the nerve to ask LIGHTS if she’ll be attending Jian’s Birthday party.
A new “female Viagra” is coming. Is “female sexual dysfunction” legit or a construct of the pharmaceutical industry? A Q debate this morn. (50 minutes ago by @jianghomeshi)
Well, as promised in the newspaper ad (with all the typos): Tune in to Q for more SEX talk! Is Jian trying to make sense of the female libido? Maybe he should try a RELATIONSHIP.
re: June 1, 2010@10:20pm
Maybe none of the PRI members have picked it up yet?
Also, Q not listed on PRI on-line stream schedule:
http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/pri/guide.guidemain
Before jumping to bitchy conclusions though, As it Happens isn’t there either, so maybe it’s just taking time to update webpages.
re: June 1@11:01
My mistake; Q is indeed on the PRI site:
http://www.pri.org/q.html
though couldn’t find info on which stations are carrying it.
Why is no mention of “Q” being broadcast on PRI included on either their website or “Q”s website? Very hush, hush.
Sorry to hear about the Gore separation. Will Tipper get shared custody of the internet? (about 4 hours ago by @jianghomeshi)
Yeah, uhmmm, Jian? At least a hundred other people came up with this joke today. And should people who have never been married poke fun at those who had the courage to try it?
Today is day that Q launches in a bunch of US markets on Public Radio lntl. Hello American friends! (I promise to slowly adopt Texan accent) (1 day ago by @jianghomeshi)
The evolution begins….y’all! Was “Q” ever intended for a Canadian audience anyway? (Are Elivra Kurt’s days numbered? She’s no Ellen Degeneres…)
Now that “Q” is being broadcast in the states, it will be interesting to watch become even MORE American and stray from the CBC’s mandate, which is:
“…the programming provided by the Corporation should:
be predominantly and distinctively Canadian, reflect Canada and its regions to national and regional audiences, while serving the special needs of those regions,
actively contribute to the flow and exchange of cultural expression,
be in English and in French, reflecting the different needs and circumstances of each official language community, including the particular needs and circumstances of English and French linguistic minorities,
strive to be of equivalent quality in English and French,
contribute to shared national consciousness and identity,
be made available throughout Canada by the most appropriate and efficient means and as resources become available for the purpose, and
reflect the multicultural and multiracial nature of Canada.”1
Yep, the magic is gone. The Truth Farm and that massively successful Jian thread have now been replaced by CBC job postings.
I suppose we’re all just expected to flock to the newest Tea Makers blogs (a rehashing of the “did Jian write for the Guardian?” question and something about the Ryerson interview that I thought I read a couple of months ago) and post in them, but I think I’ll pass. Lest they become too popular and a drain on resources and need to be removed .
Notice he now calls his “opening essay” a “monologue”….thanks to The Teamakers’ discussion on the matter.
The magic is gone…this all seems so contrived now. Kind of like Jian.
The Tea Makers getting rid of The Truth Farm is akin to the CBC getting rid of Hockey Night in Canada.
A couple of other issues :
Anyone else notice that Tea Makers comments are taking a long time to show up? Right now there’s one that shown on the right under “Recent comments: An Inconvenient Question” by Anonymous on at 9:18 pm” that when I click on it, it isn’t there (9:42 pm).
Anyone else tired of the Tea Makers yellow colour scheme? The Truth Farm was much easier on the eyes……
Just sayin’.